I didn’t mean for my blog writing to fall silent; I had a plan for most of December and into early January. But then the holiday season took over and once all the bustle of family and friend visits died down, I found myself unable to start again. I suffer from seasonal affective disorder and for some reason this winter is proving to be much more difficult than I expected. It’s left me overwhelmed by negative emotions, feeling foggy and adrift from myself. I waste a lot of energy fighting it and resisting, but I’ve come to realise that all I need to do is forgive and be a bit kinder to myself. I can’t help that the lack of light affects me, although I can get into some good mental health and wellbeing routines that mitigate the effects. It’s just unfortunate that this year it’s more of a struggle than before.
So, I’ve made the executive decision not to stress about it too much. The blog can wait. I’m better off using the energy I have on the most important aspects of my creative practice and business, the project I am running this year, the teaching I am doing next month, the duties I have as a trustee for an arts organisation. These things need my full attention, and I’m trying not to feel the guilt of not managing it all.
I’m not sure when I will be back in this space, fully. I often find February the most tricky of months, so March feels like a safe-ish bet. In the meantime, please do take a look through some of my past posts – there’s a lot here. I’ve gathered together some of them on the theme of self-care, in case you too feel the blues in February.